Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
