His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
