Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
