Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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