i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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