I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
