Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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