handjob tips. give me some.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
