trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
