The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
