I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
