I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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