Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
