:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
