I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
