I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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