I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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