Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
