So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
