just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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