i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
