I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
