Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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