ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Operation Purity has been aborted
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
