i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
