remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
