I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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