"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
