but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
