Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
