Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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