I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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