just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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