awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Drake has all the answers
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
