A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
