This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
