Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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