My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
