wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
