i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
