so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
