Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it because I queefed?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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