It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
