The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
