i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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