Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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