So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
two words...techno handjob
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
