I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
