READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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