More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
